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CD Collection

I almost cried.

My bags were packed, and I was ready to go. It was an overcast, hazy afternoon in Rio de Janeiro, and suddenly I heard the faint sound of a car horn. It was the signal for me to end my vacation and begin the long, perilous journey to build my life over from scratch.

Well, not completely from scratch. Good grace was on my side, and several remnants from my former life were still intact (fortunately, the most important ones). While I lost most of my possessions, I still had the few items I brought along to Rio, along with the promise of my car and computer, which would be waiting for me when I returned to the US.

The night before my flight I began plotting the course I would have to drive in order to reach my final destination, North Carolina. From Baton Rouge, where I was to pick up my car, I had a 25 hour drive to look forward to. By myself.

Well, I figured, it's not the end of the world. At least I have my car. I can get in my car, blast the stereo, and unwind. To me it's the best therapy in the world. Luckily I brought my CD collection to Rio with me, and I had more than enough to keep me entertained during the long ride.

The taxi honked again. Hmm, I wonder where those CDs are. Can't seem to find them anywhere. Ask around the house. No one has seen them. My friend suggests that some house guests may have mistakenly taken them home with them. Taxi honks again.

Rage starts to bubble (or maybe it was sadness, or some deeper, unknown emotion), but I supress it. This is the last time I will see my best friend for a long time, and it wasn't worth spoiling the moment. We say our goodbyes and I instruct the taxi driver, in broken Portuguese, to take me to the airport.

All of a sudden it sinks in. I realize for the first time what my life will be like now. Up until that point I had constructed in my mind a gradual transition to my new life using familiar things from my previous life...my car, my clothes, my computer, and my CDs, for example. Sure, I had to start over, but at least I had the essentials.

I began thinking about how long it took me to compile my CD collection. I began thinking about how long it took to make those CDs, about all the memories, about all the good times I had with that music in the background. I suddenly realized how long of a drive it would be to my new home without my music. It was supposed to be my crutch. My eyes began to tear up. It was like reality broadsiding me in the face. Just when I thought almost everything I had worked so hard for was gone, something else was taken away from me.

Buy hey, sometimes starting over is the best thing that can happen to a person. I just wish maybe the credit card companies I owe money to felt the same way. Chase, are you listening?

September 03, 2005 |

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